So here I am again. Starting over. As a woman of a certain age, I realise that change is inevitable. Self care over fifty, is something I need to implement and embrace. Life in my fifties has been and continues to be, a steep learning curve. For me that means starting over, both in relationships, lifestyle and looking inward and improving my sense of self.
Part of my journey of change, has been to convince myself, I can create and maintain my very own blog. I have tried once before. Decided my musings weren’t particularly interesting. At least not to anyone else. But, on second thoughts and with a determination to keep trying, I find myself wanting to give my blog a second chance. My written ramblings may just actually resonate with someone.
I find myself now, at the age of 57, thinking, isn’t it about time I gave up my guilt. Guilt in response to feeling that time spent doing things I want to do, as opposed to those I must, is being selfish! Can anyone empathise?
I have always felt, as women, our lot in life is to always feel guilt. Have we done all we need to do for all others in our life, that we should have done? As daughters, mothers, partners, most of us will be familiar with the thought process behind putting ourselves last. Keeping the most burnt piece of meat or toast for ourselves, so the family have the better pieces. If you haven’t cooked quite enough to go around, making sure everyone else has enough before filling your own plate, with the smallest portion of everything. Yes, I’m sure you’ve all been there.
So, upon entering my now late fifties, I think it’s time I granted myself some grace. I’ve come to appreciate that, as has been stated many times before, if we take care of ourselves, we are then better able to nurture others. A sentiment much used, but one which seems quite logical. You really can’t continue to give, without replenishing the giver!
To me, it’s the simple, everyday “stuff”, that I want to spend quality time indulging in. The reading of and wonderment found in a new book. the planting of and tending of a garden. Even if that garden consists of only pot plants. Also, dare I admit it, spending time perusing social media. For me this entails both Instagram and YouTube. I use both as a source of inspiration for the pottering I enjoy doing, around the home.
Finding my Creativity
Apart from the above mentioned regular pastimes, I feel the time has come for me to step out of my comfort zone and attempt something new. Firstly I’ve chosen watercolour painting as a creative outlet. Painting is one thing I have always wanted to try, but have never had the confidence to, give it a go. But, realising I don’t have forever anymore, has given me the push I needed. So off I went and purchased the necessary basics, to begin learning my new “thing”.
And this, the writing I intend to pursue, as it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. I don’t know if I will be considered any good at it, but I’m going to do it anyway! Without a doubt, the current condition of the world around us, has very much been a catalyst for me, in regards to looking more inwardly. I hope to flesh out the parts of myself I’ve considered lacking. I long to make peace with myself by finding those things, I haven’t. till now, realised are missing.
So, self care and change over fifty, will mean something different to each of as, as individuals, I would be most interested to hear how you apply them in your own lives.